Now to just state before the seriousness begins, I am saying what I am now to help me heal and for those who may not know about these things to just be aware. I want to become more active and supportive in the awareness and help for all those who have lives hardships alike. I will try and keep it as PG 13 but there won’t be details. I just feel like I have scars that I am tired of hiding. It stems from a friend of mine who doesn’t like one of their more obvious scars and while my advice was not to worry about it. I have several very strong, willful, spirited, and loving friends and amazing support group with them. This is more just to clear the air as when the subject comes up, I sometimes have trouble with it and I am tired of feeling that way. No more covering up the scars.
That said, a couple years back and several times when I was much younger, I was a victim of sexual assault. Sexual harassment in general was a normal occurrence in my life and I have tried to really hiddenmy nature from anyone. My personality is very split and I do believe it’s due to my experience and having spent time getting help and taking time to deal with the mess that was left afterwards, I am trying to stop this.
Many people who know me, know I participated in the burlesque scene for a short while. It was one of the things that helped me the most in,all these years. No therapy or binging has been more helpful. These astoundingly fierce men and women made me feel safe and confident by just working with them. Thank you everyone for just being who you are.
I have disappeared, hermited as I call it, and it has mostly been due to the depression, fear, flashbacks, and other fun things that come with what they have diagnosed as PTSD. When they said I have slight agoraphobia, I got upset but it kind of made sense why someone would see it that way from the outside. However, it’s more a general disdain of society. What people consider acceptable in their treatment of others disgusts me and rather than have to be surrounded by people like this, I don’t go near them. I go out, hang out, explore and can be social, just not with people like that.
So that is all I really want to say. I have many people to thank, many others I hope will be more aware of others or even the subject in general. I don’t want to preach, I don’t want pity, sympathy, or to talk of this all the time. Just be aware, respectful and kind to those around you. It isn’t much and isn’t that hard.