It’s been a while now that I have been fighting all sorts of feelings, thoughts and impulses in me to try and live a normal life. I have come to the most definite of conclusions that I need to stop this. I am not normal, I don’t fit into many situations and I don’t want to fit in with the ones that make me alter who I am, what I say and how I do things.
I hope, those reading this can understand where I am coming from. Certain social graces when you are out with friends or friends of friends, and they all act one way and you just don’t feel right. Everyone should be allowed to be who they want, when they want. At this rate I fear for what will be left in a few short years.
I will say this on the matter, of late I have found some great people with whom I can be myself with no fear of judgement or compromise, no need to be a certain way for them. Last night I had an amazing night catching up and telling storied with a wonderful friend, while making more plans for later. I left receiving and giving big warm hugs that made me glad to have someone like that. Getting home I had messages from J and knowing I have a partner with whom I can discuss everything, I went to bed calm and serene. No need to concern myself with the fact that I may have surrounded myself with the wrong people.
Here’s hoping you all get to spend the day with those good people around you.