On deaf ears

I know many people won’t read all of my blog and will skip over the wordy posts and go right for the new posts with pictures so I know this may go unnoticed but I need to say this because I need to air what I have been holding on to else it really bring me down.

This past summer when I left my job for a new one I was sexually assaulted by my manager on my first day at the new position where I was hired. Albeit it could have been worse so I need to be very thankful it wasn’t. However, this brought back many painful memories of more serious incidents in the past that I had dealt with. I was talking with someone I know and discussing how certain things can affect you and make you see the world differently. Right now I have an aversion to a certain demographic of person that I know is because of my past experience and it affects me when I am in public. I get paranoid, nervous and anxious and have become very awkward. These things are coming up because I had another anxiety attack today while at work and I want this to stop.

I have sought help from counselors and have been dealing with it as well through yoga which has helped me immensely to move forward from where I was stuck but there is still a lot to do. Right now I am at home, cleaning and working on projects because I am too afraid to go out in large crowds and missing G-Anime because of this. (Those of you who will read this and whom I didn’t answer, I hope you forgive me) I will be wanting to work with people like myself and will be taking a yoga instructor’s course this summer and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will feel free to talk to me and come see me to talk if they need it. I want to create a comfortable world for myself and hope one day not to hurt and always have the ability to create to support me. It has been my crutch through many tough years and I lean on it even now. I have been lucky that this time, when everything came crashing through floodgates I had thought closed for good, I had amazing friends and support around me.

I will be doing a spin-a-thon for the Ottawa Rape Crisis Center, a center that helped me during the crisis phase and still helps me to this day, so please, if only a little, please donate. They do a wonderful job, they have volunteers who work with them that are just amazing and I cannot express how important what they do really is.

Donate here:

http://www.canadahelps.org/GivingPages/GivingPage.aspx?gpID=15723

 

Take care and have a great weekend, see you on the flip side….

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